Dear girl in my literature and disability class with the caterpillars for brows,

You're a jerk for falling asleep during that one group's incredibly fascinating Richard III presentation. If you're that tired just stay the fuck at home, why don't you. The best part wasn't your snoring, or the fact that you disrupted their flow by stumbling into class 15 minutes late, or your blatant disregard for other people's hard work. No, the kicker was that you immediately started talking (loudly) to the girl next to you when you finally did wake up. Come on. Seriously? In what universe would that have ever been anything but rude?

I'd advise you to show some tact, but over the course of the semester I've noticed that you're probably not capable of that. Sucks to be you. Actually, no, it sucks more to be around you. Only two weeks left!

All the worst,

K

My Pro Kitchen

If it came with more lids it'd be perfect.

Seriously, fuck Ticketmaster.

Dear Lara Flynn Boyle,

Thanks a ton for distracting me from Law and Order's plot tonight. I tried to stay focused, truly I did, but your puffy cheeks, jowls, and trout put were way more engaging than whatever Jeremy Sisto and Alana De La Garza were trying to get me to care about (something about kennels, I think?).

If you're gonna continue to pay people to slash your face up in the interest of beauty, you can just go ahead and give that money to me. My work would be a helluvalot better than those hacks on your payroll. I mean, probably. It couldn't possibly be worse, anyway.

Just something to think about.

Best,
K

When did my lj devolve into a link blog? I don't like this at all.

It's weird, because I'm coming up on this huge milestone in my life and I have ALL these feelings and things to say about it, but it seems like I just can't be bothered to sit here and commit it all to electronic memory.

Motivation. I need some.

Echo Park Time Travel Mart.

It's part of the many 826 franchises (with 826 Valencia in SF being home to the awesome pirate store), and is one of the few things that would make LA bearable for me.

http://www.calperfs.berkeley.edu/presents/season/2007/speaking/ig_dr.php

Gonna be awesome.

It's long, but worth it.

( Sexual Interface )

Haven't laughed so hard in many a day.

Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 10 songs it plays and your thoughts on the song.


1. "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" - Lauryn Hill
My policy on covers: I mostly hate them. This is one of the few exceptions even though it's hella sappy and practically written for the next trite rom-com.

2. "Lions" - Chavez
Almost makes me forget that whole Zwan thing.

3. "Down On Your Back" - Ida
Slo(w)core is the best core.

4. "Oh" - Ciara featuring Ludacris
Ludacris is like chocolate in that he can take the most mundane things (i.e. Ciara) and make them better.

5. "Fair" - Annuals
It's been almost two years and I'm still kind of amazed by them. Sexy pervades everything they do. Reminds me of long train rides and napping.

6. "Mansard Roof" - Vampire Weekend
Yes, I am hipster scum. Yes, I am part of the problem. However, I also really like Paul Simon.

7. "Rust With Me" - Beulah
Angstangstangst. Angst. Country roads.

8. "Moon Over Shark City" - Devin Davis
The midwest - is that where it's at?

9. "I Love The Valley, Oh!" - Xiu Xiu
Jamie Stewart is playing a show on campus in like a week. Molto teatrale.

10. "Labor" - Aesop Rock
Deep head-nodding. "I am a star, really!"

How in the blue fuck is Hillary winning California? No offense to her campaign or whatever, but wow. Was not expecting that. It's still early, though.

Also, I bet this job is pleasant.

There was some work I was supposed to do this weekend, but I'm only just now getting to it. My presentation partner is probably cursing my name.

I'M SORRY CHRIS BUT THE MEGABOWL WAS MORE IMPORTANT.

Utterly awesome.

More photo goodness, and a faceplate tutorial, here.

This is, honest to god, a word-for-word transcription of what the news anchor just said on the teaser commercial:

"Stabbed in the neck with a pork chop bone, tonight at 10." Arizona is so weird.



Also: Happy New Year, lj/internet pseudo-friends!

http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/


I feel like I shouldn't find this as funny as I do.

( This is dedicated... )


Love it.

As of Monday, Anton Chigurh has replaced Patrick Bateman as the most frightening human movie character in recent memory.

Courtesy of Mcsweeney's Internet Tendency: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/21AndrewC.Duenas.html

My personal favorite? "Who Wants to Be a Sociolinguist?"

dear Kevin Riley,

I would really really hate to be you right now. worst loss EVER.

no love,
K